Hope

"We don't yet see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us! But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love." 1 Cor 13: 12-13 (The Message)

At some stage soon I really ought to return to Matthew's gospel, and the search for the kingdom - but not right now. The last few weeks have been interesting. Madly busy moving house and a number of other things going on which have sapped my energy and taken my focus off God. This morning I had a bit of a rant at him, but through the day my attention has been directed to two scriptures. The first was the passage quoted above. The second is the refrain from Psalm 42 & 43. "Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God."

I'd been thinking a bit about hope in the last few days, after a friend gently chastised me for saying that I held out little hope. I'm not entirely sure how any of this relates. I'm tempted to conclude that maybe what hope I had was misplaced; but I feel that is perhaps too pat. But I'm grateful for the injunction to hope unswervingly and love extravagantly. It has lifted my eyes, and turned my thoughts to praise even if the fog still preses in...

To thine own self be true

"This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man." William Shakespeare

The last couple of weeks have been quite difficult for me. There are a number of situations in which I am struggling. As I have lain awake and wrestled with them two refrains have been whirling around my brain. The first "what would Jesus do?" and the second "to thine own self be true". The latter I was convinced was Thomas Merton (until I found it to be from Hamlet) - but it is not far from his teachings.

I've still not quite resolved this. I'm created to be me - and who I am is very different to who Christ was. I believe that my life's agenda is governed by God - and that Christ's example should guide me in all I do. Ultimately, however, I find that "what would Jesus do" offers little guidance and less comfort. Why? Because I can't help thinking that Jesus would not be in my current situation. That does not necessarily mean my situation is wrong - it is just different. I suppose I have to make the best decisions I can in the light of his example and accept his word provides no step by step solution.

I am reminded of a vicar I once knew who talked of looking at his decisions and despairing at the many mixed motives behind them. Eventually he could do no more than say to God, "please accept what I have done in the light of my best intentions and forgive me for my worst".

Good Conversation

"And don't say anything you don't mean. This counsel is embedded deep in our traditions. You only make things worse when you lay down a smoke screen of pious talk, saying, 'I'll pray for you,' and never doing it, or saying, 'God be with you,' and not meaning it. You don't make your words true by embellishing them with religious lace. In making your speech sound more religious, it becomes less true. Just say 'yes' and 'no.' When you manipulate words to get your own way, you go wrong." Matt 5: 33-37 (The Message)

According to Christopher Jamieson one of the essential elements of community is Good Conversation. By this he does not mean enjoyable, entertaining or even intellectually stimulating conversation, but rather real honest conversation.

The busyness of their lives can lead people to neglect speaking directly to colleagues or spouses about serious matters; the superficial is always easier to talk about. People find it particularly hard to express their feelings about what is happening and it is important to create a safe space within which people can express themselves.

Looking around my circle of friends, I realise that the few really close friends are those ones with whom I can be completely honest and I know that they are the same with me.

I am struck by the example of Jesus. He did not pull any punches when he spoke to people. Some it astonished, some - such as the religious leaders - it repelled, but to many people it appears to have been a breath of fresh air.