Contentment

"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength" Philippians 4: 12-13 (NIV)

A few weeks back I was privileged to hear Lord Carey speak on this passage. On the Christian calling to be content. It is not a promise that we will perpetually be blessed so that there is nothing that could make us discontent, but rather that we will be provided the strength to remain content in whatever circumstance we find ourselves.

As I reflected on this I realised with surprise that was becoming my experience. I have visited my mother many times since the onset of her Alzheimer's. Whilst I still struggle often with what has happened to her I look forward to these visits. More than that. I enjoy these visits. Spending time with her is tinged with sadness, yes, at all she has lost. But it is still a joy.

In thinking this I wonder how many other joys I miss out on because I am not able to persevere through pain to that place of contentment.

The long defeat

"Together through ages of the world we have fought the long defeat." Galadriel (The Lord of the Rings)

Tolkien's Elves are strange creatures. Jolly yet serious, mischievous yet wise, joyful yet without hope. Over long ages they have witnessed the decline of all they hold dear, and yet still they sing. Treebeard the Ent says this of them. "They always wished to talk to everything , the old Elves did. But then the Great Darkness came, and they passed away over the Sea, or fled into far valleys, and hid themselves and made songs about days that would never come again."

Sometimes life seems like a long defeat. Fighting a battle where no victory is possible but which is still worth fighting. Like the fight to keep the quality of life for a slowly declining patient. I spent this weekend looking after my mother again. It's hard to see her looking so lost. She descends into panic so easily. No matter how much time you invest, she always reverts to it. And yet still I strive for hard-won smiles, even if they are all too soon replaced.

In contrast last week I was encouraged once again upon Romans 8 in the Message:

That's why I don't think there's any comparison between the present hard times and the coming good times. The created world itself can hardly wait for what's coming next. Everything in creation is being more or less held back. God reins it in until both creation and all the creatures are ready and can be released at the same moment into the glorious times ahead. Meanwhile, the joyful anticipation deepens.

All around us we observe a pregnant creation. The difficult times of pain throughout the world are simply birth pangs. But it's not only around us; it's within us. The Spirit of God is arousing us within. We're also feeling the birth pangs. These sterile and barren bodies of ours are yearning for full deliverance. That is why waiting does not diminish us, any more than waiting diminishes a pregnant mother. We are enlarged in the waiting. We, of course, don't see what is enlarging us. But the longer we wait, the larger we become, and the more joyful our expectancy.

That sounds more like a "Long Victory" to me. Somehow - I don't know how - I hope Paul is right. That the expectation is valid and all will come good. Maybe it's in those times when things don't seem to work together for good that we need to believe it most.

Perseverance without understanding

I am currently re-reading one of my all time favourite books - The Lord of the Rings. It's interesting returning to the book after many years, with my childhood memories now coloured by Peter Jackson's blockbuster interpretation. On the whole, I thought Jackson did a good job with the first and last films. The original cut of The Two Towers was somewhat ruined for me by the undermining of Faramir as an honourable character. The extended release (a much more satisfying experience) reveals a superb sub-plot explaining this. Slightly sad that in making an admittedly much-needed cut for length they rendered the subplot incomprehensible.

What impressed me, however, was the way that Jackson picked up on many of the core themes in the trilogy and plays them out, either with direct quotations (albeit some of them moved across entire books) or in his characterisation. The entire last film is a tale of the friendship between Sam and Frodo. The sacrificial love which allows a gardener to accompany his master on a quest which is beyond his comprehension. I had entirely forgotten that Tolkien presents this theme right at the beginning. As early as chapter four of the first book Sam says to Frodo:

"I know we are going to take a very long road into darkness; but I know I can't turn back. It isn't to see Elves now, nor dragons, nor mountains that I want - I don't rightly know what I want: but I have something to do before the end and it lies ahead, not in the Shire. I must see it through, sir, if you understand me."

I love the quiet, humble determination represented in Sam. He seems to have grasped the message of Gandalf's statement to Frodo in the second chapter (or to Pippin during the battle for Minas Tirith if you prefer the films) "All we have to do is decide what to do with the time that is given to us..."