The silent saviour

"He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth." Isaiah 53: 7

"...we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us." Romans 8:17-18 (NIV)

This holy week if one thing has struck me, it is the poise of Jesus in the face of his suffering. His prayers in the garden reveal that he is not without doubts, not without questions, not without fears. Yet despite that, he approaches it head on. He rides calmly to Jerusalem knowing how it will end. He responds to his accusers with simple dignity. He does not fight. He does not succumb to anger. He does not even grumble or vent his stress on his followers. As Good Friday approaches it makes me wonder about my own approach to hardship. Ultimately I may trust God for the outcome but all too often that does not stop me from expressing my bitterness at the process.

Beyond healing

"But Zion said, 'The LORD has forsaken me, the Lord has forgotten me.'

'Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me.'" Isa 49: 15-17 (NIV)

My mother's Alzheimer's continues to progress. Each time I see her she seems to shrink a little. There are simple things that she used to do that she no longer does. Sometimes it takes a few minutes work to get a spark of recognition. Yet, somehow albeit down at a visceral level, she still seems to know who I am. She would never say my name. If anyone asks her who I am she replies "I don't know". Yet her eyes light up when I talk to her. She giggles with me as I gently tell her stories from her past. She happily puts her hand in mine and walks with me - or kisses me on the nose as I lean forward to her.

Over the last few weeks I have been quite low - my thoughts and faith spiralling slowly round this single question. Do I believe in a God who can heal and yet chooses not to? Because if he cannot heal then he is not God.

This morning's sermon was some comfort. Isaiah 49 - an ideal passage for Mothering Sunday - seems tinged with bitter irony when faced with the reality of Alzheimer's. And yet it brings me back to the cross. My name, my mother's name, carved on the saviour's wounded hands. It makes me look back at the prayers that have been answered. Yet it is small comfort for the ones that have not...

The focus of encouragement

"This is what the LORD says— he who made a way through the sea, a path through the mighty waters, who drew out the chariots and horses, the army and reinforcements together, and they lay there, never to rise again, extinguished, snuffed out like a wick: Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland." Isaiah 43: 16-19 (NIV)

Isaiah 43 refuses to go away. I keep running into it everywhere I go. Each time I encounter it, I spot something new. This weekend I was brought face to face with verse 18. "Forget the former things. Do not dwell on the past". Contrast this with Isaiah 46 vs 9. "Remember the former things, those of long ago; I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like me."

So which is it? Forget the former things or remember them? Despite the contradiction Isaiah 43 and 46 share a similar structure. They start with an assurance of God's commitment to his people. They move on to an injunction on how to approach the past. But Isaiah 43 arises out of a context of God's judgement and a commitment to look after his people moving forward, whereas 46 arises out of a context of God's historical care for his people and the way that he has looked after them in the past.

The message then, is clear. Don't focus on your past failures or your own plan for the future. Focus on God and what he has promised. Focus on God and what he has done.

The importance of history

"Remember your history, your long and rich history. I am God, the only God you've had or ever will have — incomparable, irreplaceable — from the very beginning telling you what the ending will be, all along letting you in on what is going to happen, assuring you, 'I'm in this for the long haul, I'll do exactly what I set out to do'" Isaiah 46:9-10 (The Message)

When the Israelites first came into the promised land Moses words to the people are clear. "Do not forget". Isaiah picks up this call. Looking back at history is useful. It reminds us of God's activity in our lives. It strengthens our faith. It moves us to praise. It should make the waiting easier - although often I confess it does not. Confidence that God has acted, does not always translate into confidence that God will act. In fact as I learn more about his character I realise that I often look for him to act in places that he does not. The danger is in looking for the action I want, I fail to notice the unexpected actions. History, therefore, should inspire but not limit our expectations of God.

Recently I came across an interesting quotation (I wish I could remember where!) which ran roughly "God takes you on roads you do not wish to travel to places you didn't expect to go but never want to leave".

Faithfulness down the years

"Listen to me, family of Jacob, everyone that's left of the family of Israel. I've been carrying you on my back from the day you were born, and I'll keep on carrying you when you're old. I'll be there, bearing you when you're old and gray. I've done it and will keep on doing it, carrying you on my back, saving you." Isaiah 46:3-4 (The Message)

Many years ago I came across the opening verses of Isaiah 43 ("Fear not for I have redeemed you. I've called you by name. You are mine.") under circumstances which made them feel like a direct promise to me. Since then the verses have cropped up at significant moments. Over the last few weeks my attention has been directed to the broader context. Isaiah 43 sits at the heart of a passage which stretches from Isaiah 40 to 48 (and possibly beyond). Within the passage several themes emerge. God's continued desire and ability to look after his own; the foolishness of trusting in things which are not God; and the need for repentance and whole-hearted service.

Last weekend I visited my mother once again. Her Alzheimer's has robbed of her so much. This time she seemed particularly lost and forlorn. I wondered again about the place of God in her life. Where is the good in her current situation? Yet Isaiah prompts me to look at the past. Our history confirms God's ability to be active in both our lives.

Since my entry on the sufficiency of grace I have been pondering the difference between faith and trust. My faith is firmly rooted in seeing God's hand in my life. Trust, however, implies an acceptance of the outworking of his purposes in situations which make no sense. Perhaps faith is the confidence to move forward knowing that God can act, whilst trust is an acknowledgement that even if he doesn't, he still has our best interests in mind.