Unconditional love

"We can understand someone dying for a person worth dying for, and we can understand how someone good and noble could inspire us to selfless sacrifice. But God put his love on the line for us by offering his Son in sacrificial death while we were of no use whatever to him." Rom 5: 7-8 (The Message)

This weekend I was once again looking after my mother. There is very little now that she can do or wants to engage with. She cannot read, and does not want to be read to. She has very little conversation - and quickly loses the thread of anything that you tell her. About the only thing she enjoys is going for a walk. So, despite the cold, we did a lot of walking. Most of it in silence - because it becomes hard to hold a conversation with one who has so little to say. It's heart-breaking to see how much she has lost. I realised once again just how much I miss her. Yet despite all of that I still love her and treasure the time we spend together. Just to give her a hug, or hold her hand. To share a little silliness and raise a momentary smile.

It got me thinking a bit about the way that God loves us. Since finishing Finding Sanctuary I have been working my way through an Henri Nouwen reader, Seeds of Hope. It is a collection of snippets from his various writings. This morning I came to the following:

The great temptation is to use our many obvious failures and disappointments in our lives to convince ourselves that we are not worth being loved. Because what do we have to show for ourselves?

But for a person of faith the opposite is true. The many failures may open that place in us where we have nothing to brag about but everything to be loved for. It is becoming a child again, a child who is loved simply for being, simply for reaching out.

This is the way to spiritual maturity; to receive love as a pure free gift.

It made me stop short again. God's gift of love does not depend on what I achieve for him. It does not depend on my search for his kingdom. It is not reduced by the set-backs and failures I encounter. The fact I've hurt him or missed a few quiet times does not make him feel awkward or sullen in my presence.

I wonder, ultimately, if this is what the kingdom is. To be accepted for who I am not what I can do. Maybe the best I can ever do for anyone else is just that...