After his baptism the second act that Jesus undertakes before commencing his ministry is to withdraw into the desert and fast. We are not told what he did for most of this time, but I think we can make a good guess. Throughout the gospels we find Jesus periodically withdrawing to quiet, lonely places to spend time alone with God.
Mark 1 verse 35 is a good example: "Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed." In the short yet powerful book, Out of Solitude, Henri Nouwen makes the following observation on this verse:
The more I read this silent sentence locked in between the loud words of action, the more I sense that the secret of Jesus' ministry is hidden in the lonely place where he went to pray, early in the morning, long before dawn. In the lonely place, Jesus finds the courage to follow God's will and not his own; to speak God's word and not his own; to do God's work and not his own.
The time Jesus spends in his father's presence is the powerhouse for his ministry. It is how he centres himself on his purpose.
I am currently working my way through the book Finding Sanctuary by Christopher Jamieson (the Abbot of Worth Abbey). The book, subtitled Monastic steps for Every Day Life, is a remarkably accessible look at applying the Rule of St Benedict to ordinary living. In it Jamieson describes quietness as the carpet of our personal sanctuary.
Silence is not an end in itself; it is there to let inner silence grow so that the inner life might flourish. A gardening analogy may help here: if you have not been used to silence, the first thing you will notice when you enter into it are the distractions inside yourself - the weeds. Even when you pull them up and throw them away, they grow back again quickly and you wonder why you bothered. But you need to keep weeding in order to let the flowers grow. The flowers in this case are the words from God that can grow if you have cleared a space for them.
Over the last couple of weeks I have been experimenting with this. Trying to weave silence into my life. It has not been easy; there are distractions from without and within. Jamieson suggests starting with five minutes a day and working up from this. Most days I fail even my five minutes. The clamour of my head is just too loud. Yet in persevering I am beginning to see some of the benefit. Moving towards God does not offer any easy answers, but it does provide a new perspective. The kingdom does not reveal itself easily, but perhaps the process of searching for it is required to change us so we can dwell in it?
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